Change

I'm not good with change.  I know that's something that a lot of people struggle with.  I'm not really sure knowing that helps me much though. It feels like there's a lot of change happening for me right now and for sure the last few years. I'm sitting here thinking about the changes and realizing just how many years have passed since some of those changes and its mind boggling. Time just slips away so fast. I was just thinking this morning that it's been almost 2 years since my mother passed away. Change...

There's been a lot of changes with my sheep over the years too. As of this past Sunday (October 31, 2021) I only have 4 sheep.  It's been a while since I've had that few. My oldest ewe, Faith, died on Sunday. As I stood there watching her go, I thought about the fact that I watched her being born almost 12 years ago. She has a younger sister, Grace, that is showing signs of not having too many more year left either. I'll be keeping Faith's last fleece for myself. I loved her face. She was a beautiful gray with white 'eyeliner' around her eyes. I think she even liked me. That's her in the front. The three ewes that are left have varying degrees of tolerance for me. If I have food they are my best friends. If not, well, they have better things to do. Now Jeff, the odd 'man' out in the flock, he loves me! He doesn't care if I have anything for him to eat or not. He always comes to get his ears scratched. If I'm walking through the pasture, I'd better not stop too quick because he is right there behind me and will run into me. The day I lose him is going to be the hardest. Hopefully it will be a while before I have to face that.

It's so easy to get use to things being the same. Sometimes that's good, having a routine, being consistent. It can too easily become a rut that we are stuck in. I recently have started making more of an effort to MAKE the time to sit down at my spinning wheel. I don't know why I got away from it because I thoroughly love spinning. Life just gets busy. It took a little while to get back in the groove where my yarn started looking like yarn or at least yarn that was acceptable.

It's like being a beginner again but with the advantage of knowing that it will get better. That groove though can become a rut that makes my yarn look all the same. The challenge then is to be the one in control. 

I have the book, and accompanying disc, The Intentional Spinner by Judith MacKenzie McCuin. I love this book. I honestly don't know how many times I've watched the CD and I plan on watching it many more times. She talks about our wheel being an instrument. The challenge is to not try to change our instinctive groove or 'rut' that we naturally fall into. Change your instrument. Adjust your wheel in order to adjust your yarn. Voila! It's almost like magic. Almost, you still have to control your hands, your other instruments. Oh, and your feet BUT I've found a few videos on YouTube that made something click in my head finally. Kimberly at The Natural Spinner has a video called Paco-Vicuna-Spinning Lace. About halfway through she explains how she uses a control card to make sure her yarn is consistent. She made this video in 2013. She doesn't have a ton of videos on her channel but what she does have are so informative. Another is a 2016 video from Camaj Fiber Arts, Eszee Twist Tool/yarn planner: How to Spin a 2-ply yarn from 2 bobbins. She talks here about counting your treadles and finding the balance that's needed.

You may think I'm contradicting myself here. First, I said don't try to change our instinctive groove that we naturally fall into. Next, I'm talking about control cards and counting treadles. I recently saw a meme with a man trying to climb over a wall and he's standing on a pile of ladders.

The caption says, 'It doesn't matter how many resources you have...If you don't know how to use them, it will never be enough'. I really like that. I need to take my natural inclinations, my comfort zone (how fast I treadle, how fast I move my hands) and with the resources I have (counting treadles, a control card, the adjustments to my wheel...) gain control of the yarn I make instead of being at the mercy of chance or habit.

I really can't help but think these same truths apply to the rest of my life, not just my spinning. At my age, I am who I am. That fact doesn't mean I need to be stuck in a rut at the mercy of chance or my habits. Here comes that word again, change. Taking a good hard look at where we are, what we have to work with, using our resources and making the adjustments we can change the outcome. Maybe I need to stop thinking of it as change. Maybe I need to think of it as adjustments.

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